Afterburner Climax for the XBox360: Part One

Game One: Afterburner Climax for the Xbox360
First impressions written in bullet list format to memorialize the bullet streams into which I continuously flew my fighter jet.

Recap of my first six seconds of game play:

1.Selected jet (I can always get behind an attractive paint job. Chose the Hornet with blue and orange stripes. Choosing the color of the plane or car or elf's hair or shoes or hat will always be the most entertaining part of any game for me. I can pretty much guarantee you that).
2.Admired the pretty scenery and sky and mountains.
3.Swerved pretty new jet into side of one of those mountains.
4.Overcorrected and swerved into opposite and then adjacent mountains.
5.Pulled up and flew directly into red bullet stream.
6.Veered into giant missile.
7.Took a nosedive and burst into flames.
8.Jet disappeared in a haze of black smoke.
9.Controller-cum-vibrator (pun intended) informed me with its violent shake that my jet was beyond repair.


Times during my first fifteen minutes of game play when I wanted to just turn off the Xbox360:

1.At the Main Menu. I really don't appreciate all the choices afforded me in modern video games. I just want a "play" button. How am I supposed to decide which mode I want to play in when I don't even know what the game is about yet?
2.The fifth time I crashed my jet within 25 seconds of game play. I can't seem to distinguish between missiles, bullets, bad planes, and good planes(are there any good planes? Am I the only one? If so, why?)I think the game tried to explain my mission to me in the first 30 seconds, but I wasn't paying attention.
3.After reading and then rereading three more times what the Climax buttons do and still not really understanding because:
a. I don't really care that much. I figure using climax (the ability to slow down time in order to lock onto multiple targets at once)is the least of my worries considering I can't even seem to stop my jet's constant ricocheting between mountain ranges.
b. The explanation is written poorly.
C. I'm so caught up in the sexual innuendo I can't concentrate.
4.When I realize that I still can't tell, in my wild button-mashing frenzy, if I'm actually hitting anything. And, worse, when I realize I may never be able to tell.


How I got through my fifteen minutes of game play without quitting

1. Laughed at myself. No one can make it through that much crash-and-burn by getting frustrated. It really was comical. As Ben said, "you can't go over it you can't go under it...oh..no...you just went through it..."
2. Just kept mashing. I mashed those buttons and spun that joystick ad nauseam...literally...I wanted to puke.
3. Remembered the assignment. If nothing else I pride myself on being a good student. Just knowing that I'd have to write about my experience reminded me in my weak, loser moments that I needed to pay attention and keep going because, gosh darn it, I had a job to do!


The reason this project is good:

1.I played for 15 minutes and didn't quit despite the fact that I wanted to about every 30 seconds.
2.Yes, my husband said after watching those 15 minutes that I was “pretty much straight-up terrible” at playing video games. Still, I think he really enjoyed watching me try.
3.Even after 15 minutes I could tell I was improving and even managed to Climax a few times! And that's more than can be said for a lot of women.


(Final game review of Afterburner Climax to come in the next day or two. Stay tuned!)